54

So… this is 54. What a life it’s been.

I’ve gone through a lot of change in 54 years. As a child, I changed residences and schools frequently after my father split in late 1978. I rarely gained friends, as I was the classic “nerdy kid” long before nerds were accepted parts of society… and lost them when my family would move. As a high schooler, I had a few brief romantic relationships (surprisingly)… a trend that carried over well into my twenties. I got married, then divorced. I’ve had plenty of jobs over the years, between 1991 and now; some ended in layoffs, others ran their course for me as I struggled to find “my place”.

Now? I am a homeowner, celebrating the beginning of my second year. I have a secure job, one that I enjoy almost every day, and I live fairly comfortably. It took many years to gain some stability… or, at least some other constants aside from– what else?– video games.

Video games have been a part of my life for 50 of my 54 years, dating all the way back to my father bringing a PONG clone home in the middle of 1976. My uncle had a pinball machine. My mom’s mom and my dad’s sister each had Atari 2600 consoles. Growing up in the 1980s meant that many places had arcade games, aside from titled arcades. I played Defender in a convenience store downstairs from our apartment in 1983. I played Mr. Do! and Donkey Kong Jr. at a pool hall. I played the sit-down cabinet for Star Trek: Strategic Operations Simulator at a pizza parlor– then, a few years later, I played OutRun at a different pizza place and overcame some of my fears of driving. The campground my mother dragged me to as a kid had a rec room with Champion Baseball, Mr. Do!’s Castle, and a Missile Command machine that would zap me when I played it because metal was exposed. Berzerk at a duckpin bowling alley. Shuuz at a tenpin bowling alley. Mat Mania and Life Force in a convenience store addition in Greenfield, MA as a high schooler. All fond memories.

Mall arcades are where I cut my teeth as a video game player throughout the 1980s as a kid, and through most of the 1990s as a young adult. I spent hundreds of hours in those arcades, either on weekends or during summer days, playing games with either limited tokens as a kid or slowly increasing amounts of tokens as an adult. I did plenty of watching others play, too, especially as a kid when the tokens ran out. The first arcade game I ever “beat”– Dragon’s Lair— was at a mall arcade in Holyoke, MA. I also dominated the Track & Field machine there. I fell in love with The Empire Strikes Back in Chicopee, MA. I also sank dozens of tokens into the original NBA JAM at that same Chicopee arcade. Discs of Tron. Leland Quarterback. Trivial Pursuit. World Series: The Season. Hat Trick. Arch Rivals. Tri Sports. Boot Camp. Street Fighter II. So many games that shaped me into the video game player and fan that I am today, and they were all at those arcades.

Then came my console video gaming life. I’ve owned at least one video game console since Christmas of 1990, when my dad’s mom gave me an NES* as a gift. SNES came next, then Genesis, TurboGrafx-16, 3DO, PlayStation*, Nintendo 64*, Dreamcast*, PlayStation 2*, Gamecube*, Xbox*, Wii*, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PlayStation 4, Switch, Xbox One X, PlayStation 5*, Xbox Series X*, and Switch 2*. I have 11 of those currently at my house, though some were sold and replaced over time. Console video games have provided needed escapes and breaks from reality during trying times. NBA JAM on Genesis provided some distraction during a long period of unemployment in 1994 after getting laid off from my first job. PlayStation and Nintendo 64 gaming helped me get through the death of my dad’s mom– who was also my best friend at the time. PlayStation 2 gaming provided comfort during a health crisis in the early 2000s, then my divorce in the mid 2000s. Going back to retro consoles like NES, SNES, and Genesis in 2012 was solace while dealing with a career crisis, where I needed a fresh start out of retail and went back to school for the first time in more than 20 years.

When I look at the “Retro Room” in my house, as I’m surrounded by thousands of games and a half-dozen consoles, I’m grateful for the constant, stabilizing force that video games have been over so much of my life. I’m living a dream that kid me and teenage me might have had, assembling a massive collection of video games to enjoy at will. Many things are constant, at least for now. I’ve been working at the same place for three years now. Owning and affording a house means no more moving, at least for awhile. When I have “one of those days”, I can escape to that room and dial up memories as I play.

Peaking in my 50s, getting the kind of life that I’ve been hoping and searching for since I was a kid, is something that I will not take for granted. It’s not always perfect, and advanced age has sapped some of my energy, but I’m grateful for where I am. May 54 be a year of more constants, punctuated with positive changes.